Getting the first one out

A recurring event – getting the first kleenex out of a new full box.  Any reasonable attempt at doing this invariably yields a clump of two or three.

Many suggestions have been made over the years, so many that I won’t try to recount them here.  The “final solution strategy” is worth a mention.  Using a razor, slice into the box at enough places that the box can be opened flat, leaving the full stack of kleenexes totally exposed.

Finally, there is now an accepted strategy to avoid first out of the box problem. There is slot in the middle of the plastic covering the kleenex underneath. If it is lengthened on each end, the problem vanishes.

Since this technique was anointed by the IKC (the Independent Kleenex Council), many suggestions about how to lengthen the slot have been put forward.

These include:

  • Grabbing it with your teeth and ripping it open.
    Too crude; results are too variable
  •  Melting the two ends of the slot, using a hot match head.
  • Talk to your kleenex.
  • A
  • The New Age solution. But scientists have done careful experiments with this approach. It doesn’t work.  The Enlighten Ones protest. They claim to have seen it working.
    Tends to char the top layer of kleenex.  A waste
  • Pinking shears –
  • grass clippers –
  • steak knife –
  • kid’s blunt end scissors

Discovered the fallacy in this: Toward the end of the supply, they fall back in rather than holding themselves partly projecting out for grabbing.

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About heartandmindandme

Husband and father. Wise and droll wife and three wonderful kids. Scientist all my long life - Physics, Biology, Computer Science, and more. Washington, DC and Leesburg, VA public schools. MIT bachelor's and PhD. Faculty member of U. of Illinois and Northeastern U. for 25 years until recent retirement. Member of Marine Biological Lab, Woods Hole, MA. Like: Classical music plus instrumental folk and old jazz, or just sit and watch the sky, trees, birds, rain, wind, and snow.
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